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by Gabrielle Bourne

This picture was taken in Medjugorje in former Yugoslavia, during one of my many adventures. I spent 22 years in over 18 countries and 72 territories, studying cultures and sub- cultures, in addition to interviewing elite and professional athletes. I was on a journey to understand what made individuals of certain populations thrive and achieve...not just survive. I bring this knowledge to my own life and my work as a health, fitness and wellness management coach consultant in hopes of helping others master their existence, provide a lasting legacy for the next generation and our environment.

August 05

CDC...Obesity not Abated

Hi Peeps,

When the new report on obesity was released this past Tuesday by the Centre for Disease Control (CDC) , it came out with a whimper, not noticed by the majority of those directly impacted. In the Health and Wellness Profession, the reaction was more obvious, but not surprising.

Not to bore you with more statistics, as you can review any news source for that, the CDC report suggested that rates for obesity has not abated but tripled in the last year. Sadly, this is not good news for the youngest of those effected, now with questionable futures. This will be the first generation that "might" not outlive their parents.

Type-2 diabetes is a "Lifestyle" choice, unlike Type-1 which is genetic in nature. This means that if you have Type-2, it can be reversed! Imagine that! Yet, the CDC report suggests that there are many "unhealthy" choices being made and food and beverage companies are not helping to reverse the obesity epidemic...and why not?

I continue to applaud shows like the "Biggest Loser," but wonder, sometimes if it does more harm than good. I continue to source blog sites like the Biggest Loser and most times I am astounded by the "desperation" I see out there to just get on the show. What if people paid to be on the show, instead of having a prize at the end? Would that help reverse the obesity epidemic? I enjoy the show, but never understood the concept of "paying" someone to lose weight. For this reason, I don't advocate the same in the workplace.

The only monetary incentive for anyone to lose weight should be lower health care costs, longevity and vitality. There is a direct correlation between smaller waist size and a better sex life! That should be incentive enough! What about lower blood pressure? The ability to chase after your grand kids in the playground? Sit comfortably in any seat, i.e. plane, train and automobile? No prescription medications with all those side effects? Run and finish a marathon? All these and more should be incentives for living a healthier lifestyle.

Personally, I would much rather see more shows like Jamie Oliver's "Food Revolution." It is more edgy, less "showy," more raw and real. The fact that casket companies are booning in business due to obesity...and larger caskets...at an alarming rate is a wake up call to any "hard liner." Problem is that hardly anyone is interested in seeing shows like these. It is not glamourous enough. Well, we are also living in a society where people choose to listen to a book rather than read it.

Sometimes when I sit and reflect, I wonder whether we have become a nation of fast food and convenience. Even at Wholefoods, I doubt people who shop there cook much. Most times, I see prepared meals, bags of organic "junk" food and others at the check out aisle.

Live, Love Life

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July 06

Jake and Vienna...the Bachelor SAGA...Give me a break!

Hi Peeps,

I rarely, if ever, get involved in discussions related to celebrities and if I do, it would be a coaching matter or notated to "Case Studies" for our Interpersonal and Intrapersonal Communications Programmes.

I neither follow the television show "The Bachelor," nor do I know anything about these "characters," Jake and Vienna, or do I consider either one of them "celebrities" in the "traditional" sense. Since I grew up knowing "real" celebrities, I am not phased by the "loosely" defined term"celebrity" associated with many "reality" personalities.

Last week, one of my students forwarded me a clip of an interview of "Jake" where he point blank states, "I love her...but I am not 'in' love with her" referring to his breakup with Vienna. I immediately burst out laughing thinking how typical and what a load of crock!

I would much rather have seen him "own up" to the fact that the relationship just did not work out...for whatever reason, instead of giving a cowardly answer of "in" love opposed to just love. Amusingly, he also stated that he wanted to be "friends" and that he still cared about her.

The first time I heard this "in" love bunk was whilst conducting a focus group of women on the subject matter of the "new dating rituals." I then discovered through my field research that this "under"statement only applied to certain "types" of men, regardless of class. Not all men used this ridiculous phrasing, and not all men were definitely alike.

If I were to characterize these "type" of men, I would say that these men lacked confidence, direction in their life (both personally and professionally) and more the "hunter-wanabee" than a "real" hunter/gather type. "Real" men don't sit in a "man cave." They are equal partners in a relationship and support the success of the relationship not by going off on a "man hunting" expedition with other men, but sharing in the development of a "real" life for both he and his partner. If a man is not willing to do this, don't be discouraged and "don't" try to change him...just drop him and move on....

Society may have evolved, but these men are still set in the stone age. They may be charming, polished in some cases, and seemingly have all the traits of someone who understands affection and love, but deep down inside they are scared, uncertain human beings trying to "figure out" who they are and what they want to be when they grow up. They are boys in men's bodies, and in some cases may hangout with someone half their age and just as immature as them.

These men are prone to forget dates and meetups and in general forget about you until, when convenient for them. Yet, so many women are willing to stick it out with these inappropriate types, making excuse, sitting by the phone hoping he will return the call, instead of venturing out and experiencing life to the fullest.

Whilst conducting my field research, I notated these factors to consider, including their divorce rate (once, OK, twice...questionable), time between relationships, exclusion/inclusion, assertive/aggressive tendencies, "responsiveness" and chronic complaints, real or imagined (especially regarding their ex, housemate, and/or job). These men will have all or a combination of these traits, to start. They may be subtle at first, but will become more prevalent once the relationship "seems" to progress.

Like most relationships, it may start out "hot and heavy" then a natural progression of "togetherness." However, with these men, instead of the natural progression, there is a "lack" of "partnership" and "committed" togetherness. Aside from marriage, you get the feeling they don't want to "make an honest woman" out of you. At this point, a "hard" decision has to be applied whether to move on or stay. The most applicable to this process is "feelings." Does it feel right or estranged? Is it worth the time invested or not?

Every "partnership" is about "give/take," "compromise" and "thick/thin." If you are in a relationship that feels "one sided," perhaps it is wise to look elsewhere. Through it all, I am most proud of the fact that I did not compromise my better judgment...and neither should you. Be proud to "call the shots" and resilient and strong!

Don't believe in man cave speak that "all men stray." Surprise! They don't only certain types stray and certain types are prone to never settle on just one good woman. These men are fed by their own egos, as my mate has pointed out to me...coming from a "man's perspective." NO, not all men stray...but some do.

Most of us will experience the end of a relationship....but we most surely will experience the beginning of new ones too; so hope is never fleeting and time is the best measure of success!

Live, Love Life!

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Live your Life Efficiently...have more time, be more productive, produce results. 206.337.3721

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June 07

Primum non nocere

Hi Peeps,

"First do no harm" associated with the "Hippocratic Oath" in the medical profession, is now a practice of a growing number of MBA students. Amidst the aftermath of recent corporate scandals, graduates of prestigious institutions such as Harvard, Wharton, U-Penn, and Kellogg among others, have banded together to take an oath promising to abide by ethical standards of "do no harm."

"Primum non nocere" should not only be standard for the medical profession, and elected by MBA graduates, but a modern day practice applicable to everyone in their respective personal and professional lives, regardless.

There were two things I excelled at as a child, business and the law. I later studied both in school, applied myself and was accepted to prestigious business and law programs after graduating college. I selected a management track as my first corporate position and; have since held several management positions, including one at a corporate law firm and another at a financial institution, in addition to launching several businesses since my early teens.

I am blessed with a lifestyle of my own making to have the time devoted to my personal pursuits of building my "knowledge library." I enjoy collecting statistical data, reading court filings and law enforcement cases, in addition to researching businesses and people. I use this information to profile, trend outcomes and forecast "pardigm shifts."

Most days are spent reading various materials including those by John Maxwell, Peter Drucker, Stanley Thomas, Marcus Buckingham, Suze Orman, et al., in pursuit of practical business and financial knowledge, in addition to legal briefs on LexisNexis for the added benefit of legal analysis.

Primum non nocere influenced a five (5) year research study on the subject of "ethics and integrity." I then came to the same conclusion as John Maxwell in his book "There is no such thing as business ethics" which I read in 2004. Dr. Maxwell most likely wrote its contents during or immediately following the Enron scandal.

Dr. Maxwell argues that there is no such thing as "business" ethics. There is just ethics. He purports that one standard should be applied, not one for business, one for personal or one for spiritual. Even when people hold others "ethically accountable" they don't apply the same to themselves; then he lays out the "Golden Rules."

What I find startling is the number of "business professionals" who preach " collabouration" but in fact practice "segregation;" and associations based on "perceived value" not face value. Further damaging the professional landscape are associations based on "quid pro quo" and not based on integrity.

Identities are also crossed when representations are questionable at best. I met a woman who represented herself as a "trained" weight loss professional to find out that she managed a franchise that provided "pharmaceutical" grade drugs as part of the program.

One of my favourite books, "The Millionaire Next Door" co-authored by Dr. Thomas Stanley makes the argument that some of the most wealthiest people, whose networth is above $1million, live way below their means, including practical cars, homes and "thrift-conscious" vacations. Most did not belong to a country club or dined out every day. Their kids were enrolled in public education, not private. They neither flaunted their wealth or portrayed themselves any differently.

Yet, there are clear evidence of people living way above their means, trying to "keep up with the Jones," debt rich and cash poor. These are the very people coaching about "prosperity" whilst they show off their "leased" car and "equity depressed" home.

Last year, I ended an association with a person of questionable ethics. This person represented themselves as "Christian" with values as such, only to "breach" a trust. In a related check, this person also missed a critical deadline on a State filing that resulted in stiff penalty. Apparently this person has a history of late filings which brings me to conclude that this person is not reliable.

As a caveat, there are pre-existing circumstances where fulfilling a promise written or otherwise cannot be binding in instances of an existing document such as By-laws, Standard Operating Procedure, Policy and Procedures Guide, and others.

If there is a situation that precludes the fulfillment of the agreement, the party should make every effort "necessary" to ensure the safe guard of the breach with another offer, "On Good Faith." If a party does not do this, the presumption is that the party is not trustworthy.

In this current business culture, documented transactions should be the "best practice" for all businesses. Neither I nor my colleagues verbalize any transactions pertaining to business, and every verbal communications backed up in writing.

Whilst I would like to believe in Dr. Maxwell's "Golden Rules," not everyone is on board, especially in the business mindset of "entitlement" and "What's in it for me?"

Live, Love Life :)

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1:42 AM GMT  |  Read comments(0)

June 02

The Debt Diet

Hi Peeps,

It is rare for me to blog back to back in a single day; but after watching the Oprah Winfrey show today about "Debt," I felt compelled.

One of my favourite topics is finance and money. I coach extensively on this subject matter, and maintain a lifestyle of the "ultimate" thrift conscious, after years of obtaining material assets and "external "wealth," whilst quadrupling my networth before the age of thirty.

My epiphany to become more thrift-conscious occurred when I was put on notice for deployment to Iraq in 2003. For the first time, I was apprehensive, not about the dangers that lurked in a foreign land, but the possibility of "losing it all" including my expense account, my homes, my businesses and my lifestyle. I had contracts "up the wazoo" and was on "top of the world."

The money I would earn whilst on deployment was a "drop in the bucket" compared to my usual fare, and my responsibilities also extended to my family. I was the chief "bread winner" and people were depending on me; so I took the most "viable" approach. I CUT my expenses...drastically. I was lucky then most. I owed no mortgage on my properties. My new car would be fully paid within the year. I carried no college debt. I was single.

After my return from deployment, I was able to rebuild my networth exponentially, but limited the "material" assets that once was so important to me. I enjoy hunting for bargains, clipping coupons, researching freebies, DON'T shop "retail," maintain a prized car with almost 150K miles (my last BMW lasted 305K), and teach others to do the same.

Consumer debt is at an all time high, with average households owing more than $9,000 in credit card debt. Today on the Oprah Winfrey Show, I saw a family, with the husband and wife collectively earning a very manageable income of $102,000, but with over $115,000 in debt. Their "average" expenses, from "luxury items," included an $1,100 monthly car payments to $100 a day dining out costs.

What disturbed me was the apparent "lack" of conscious thought to the decision-making process that resulted in their current situation. Instead of dealing with the bills, they were trashing them in the garbage. That is correct. They were throwing out their bills. Instead of purchasing outright, they were leasing. Leasing is a fast track to debt. No one should be leasing. They were also playing the "blame game." The husband did not know what the wife was doing.

The damage occurs not from the debt itself but what results "after the fact" in families, especially in children. Another family profiled on the show catered to their children. Whatever they wanted, they received, including a new car that they could not afford. One of the children was heard stating, "I have her wrapped around my finger," when talking about the mother. The mother remarks, "We use our bill money to pay for clothes." What lessons do we teach our children when we use bill money to shop?

At any moment, life can throw you a curve, i.e. the death of a loved one, the loss of a job or even deployment; but it is the decisions we make in the face of adversity that can either sustain us or debt us.

Live, Love Life :)

Oprah Winfrey presents three (3) Debt-free experts for a Debt-FREE Revolution at Debt Diet

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5:57 PM GMT  |  Read comments(0)

To "Err" is Human...Own up to it

Hi Peeps,

I have discovered "many moons" ago that "Life" is what you make of it. You can either live a life full of adventures and possibilities or constant challenges and obstacles. You choose. I chose the former and continue to see life with fresh new perspective, awe and hope. My perspective does not mean that I am immune to the "bumps" that come with "mileage;" it means that I view all "crisis" as opportunities and lessons never to be repeated. Some might argue I am blessed with good fortune to have such a life; but it has been my position that "luck is by design," with all its good intentions, flaws and lessons learned.

When I saw the Oprah Winfrey interview with Sara Ferguson, the Dutchess of York, I was analyzing the contents thoughtfully. As many of you have heard, Lady Ferguson was caught on tape accepting a "bribe" to the tune of $40,000 USD. During the interview it was revealed that she is nearly bankrupt. Many would ask, "how could this be? Is she not the 'Dutchess of York,' a royal?" In fact it is quite possible for the Aristocracy to have title only, but no cash flow in which to sustain their lifestyle. Those not familiar with the Aristocracy would find this shocking, but for a Diplomat's daughter, this is far from a "revelation."

What I find "shocking" is the limitations of Lady Ferguson's own "moral" judgment. It is one thing to accept a bribe in exchange for "open access" to her ex-husband, Prince Andrew, the Duke of York, but another to lay blame to other factors driving the decision-making process. It was my personal hope to have seen Lady Ferguson own up to her "error in judgment" for the reason that she is "broke," and not because she was "helping out a friend." I found this excuse very disingenuous, to say the least. After all, she is a "role model" for many young and impressionable girls.

I do not fault Lady Ferguson for who she truly is, a well-kept lady, living above her means to keep up a facade. I know this society well enough to know that friends are limited by your "net worth," not your "self worth;" but then are they truly your friends? Lady Ferguson has been afforded many opportunities and; with such a life comes extraordinary responsibility.

Live, Love Life :)

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12:33 PM GMT  |  Read comments(0)

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